“When a person is unconscious, others need to make decisions on their behalf. I know I've certainly had to."
In what sources are calling "a huge victory, folks, lemme tell ya, this is the biggest victory you've ever seen," President Trump has been awarded a $1.4 billion participation trophy for his part in the recent record-breaking, partial government shutdown.
Dave Fellowes believes he's found the cure for "literally everything, bruh. Cancer, the flu, man... It's like, whoa, everything."