Local economies are suffering, families are tired of being cooped up together, but most importantly, our bangs have completely grown out.
Come one, come.. just one! Here's to you and here's to me, here's to drinking separately as we flatten ye ol' curve! May the road rise up to meet you as you walk all alone, by yourself, away from germs! And may we all be alive this same time next year. Cheers! By Tommi Becker
"Right now, it is very low level," Trump pontificated. "Cover your cough, avoid touching your face, but grabbing by the pussy is still okay. If we get to the point grabbing by the pussy is not okay, we will immediately raise the alert level."
Let Alka Seltzer's magic fizz quickly eliminate your unbearable heartburn, gnawing ennui, and sorry existence.
"We knew who was going to work at the plant, and who was skipping work to day-drink at the bars. It was based upon our observations we knew who to gossip about... er, I mean, PRAY FOR at church."
Her nest was destroyed by an asshole cat. Her mate left her for a beautiful songbird. She has lost her will to fly. So now it's up to you.
A smidge too much Cherub and not enough baking powder gave us Patton Oswalt. So close. But Patton doesn't exude the same magic as Danny, you know? There's just something about Danny. I can't keep my eyes off him! Have you seen him in that Philadelphia show? I just want to pinch all of him!
As a libertarian, I'm pretty sure I believe in free thought, and liberty. Definitely liberty.
We found M87's Black Hole alone in space, 55 million light years away, exactly where she was discovered. Her name nary uttered on Earth, she spends her days eating her feelings by swallowing colossal amounts of light.