"You know a year ago I had been told that everything would be open by Easter."
“I'm really proud of this team and ownership,” exclaimed Raiders head coach John Gruden. “To be able to stand here - at this podium and not outside because a casino took ownership of the stadium after a bad streak at blackjack - is a victory itself!”
“The planets will be close enough to look like a super planet, unlike your not-super dad who never showed up for your milestone moments in life,” announced top astronomers.
“All players must now remain physically distanced by six feet or more while tackling. We know this will work because the CDC said so.”
Much to the bewilderment of everyone who sees him driving around in his massive penis compensator, Martin legitimately has a remarkable schlong.
Continuously pressing the promo bar at the bottom of the screen, she yelled at the TV, "I'm done with this football game. Come on, damn you, I want to watch 60 Minutes!"
Washington D.C. In a surprising move to cement his own legacy and dismantle his predecessor, president Donald Trump resurrected Al-Qaeda leader, Osama Bin Laden, back from the dead after being killed by SEAL Team 6 back on May 6, 2011 by order of President Obama. The move received mix views for U.S. citizens with some … Continue reading Trump Further Undoes Obama Presidency By Resurrecting Osama Bin Laden
Robins hired a private investigator to try to find his cat, but even the PI was unable to find a single trace of the illusive cat.
The ongoing "pandemic," caused by the supposed "coronavirus," has lasted nearly nine months so far, thanks to the impressive effort of all the crisis actors that have been staging this charade.
Hello I am...actually what was my name? This damn amnesia that I got made me forget. Something big happened...I swear it did, and I really was going to write about it. Something about a car accident? I think maybe a natural disaster. Honestly I'm not sure if the location at the top of the article is correct. It's possible I'm not a journalist?