"I don't know if anyone's noticed this before, but his last name is actually derived from Drumpf. Drumpf!" posts Neville, plunging the depths of human discourse.
Halloween Trends: Bug-Eyed, Drooling Rudy Giuliani Will Be Big This Year
“In addition to resembling a crazed dingo, you’ll need to sound thoroughly inane. Try memorizing a list of completely disconnected words — ferret, linguine, Ukraine, prostate, criminal, schadenfreude, Yonkers, ungulate — then spit them out all night in random order.”
Breaking: Founder Of ISIS Killed
He had spent his youth in the military, where he was trained in piloting combat airplanes and dodging shoes.
Thank God I Didn’t Deliver On My Electoral Reform Promise!
I want to thank every Canadian that voted for me in this First Past The Post system, which I pledged to get rid of.
Trudeau Warns A Conservative Win Will Mean Four Years Of Fugly Andrew Scheer Calendars
“That's twelve distinct photos of his smug toddler smirk on that beady-eyed, punchable face that only a mother could love. Now compare that to me, the world's sexiest leader, with my chiseled, Ken doll face. Which Canada will you invest in?”
Heartbreaking: Antifa Thugs Bullied This Promising Art Student Until He Committed Suicide
The SJWs really took things too far once they formed networks around the world and made death threats to Adolf. Some even got out of their mom’s basements and started manning tanks and submarines. You never see Antifa doing this to leftist leaders like Obama, because they're hypocrites.
President Pens List Of Grievances In Original New Children’s Book
"Congress has been very mean to me. The Press hates me. Nobody seems to care. I think I'll move to Australia."
United States Becoming Less Religious Because Hillary Had God Killed
This explains why thoughts and prayers aren't being answered after every school shooting, pandemic, or when a professional team loses a big game.
Lindsey Graham Terrified His Testicles Beginning To Descend
"I felt some seismic energy, and ran to the mirror—where low and behold, I could just make out the slightest curvature of a testis, I think it's the left one."
Despite Protest, Pence Is Secretly Looking Forward To A Good Probe
Sources close to the White House have confirmed that Vice President Mike Pence has repeatedly expressed interest in a solid probe. He has talked of this moment since long before the election, and seems more joyful as the time for it draws near. "I would like Mother to be present for it, but I understand … Continue reading Despite Protest, Pence Is Secretly Looking Forward To A Good Probe