“Old Bill McGill here has decades of poking experience,” said Governor Sisolak. “We have total confidence that he’ll keep those ballot counters from nodding off or posting Instas, which have been the sole reasons for the delay.
The president will be bringing to the debate stage the biggest, loudest, most fantastic microphone you’ve ever seen, so he can interrupt Biden many times, at any time, and all the time.
On October 12, a few remaining areas of the United States still commemorate an awful person who spread disease throughout the continent. It is also, coincidentally, Columbus Day.
"Here's your check, coronavirus. We have a deal. You go away, you stay away, you pretend you never met me.”
Republicans assert that something called “democracy” is being used to create a “fair election” which could result in “representative government.” These “votes” may be “counted” and produce a “valid outcome.” Investigators say this subversive operation could result in Americans living under the tyranny imposed by “constitutional rights.”
“I still remember in 1995 when the Browns last qualified for the playoffs. What a rush!” Said local loser Aaron Feldman. “This presidential debate will be our new legacy!”
"Listen, they don't give me any credit," Trump said as he tipped over "Front Row Cripple Chris," in front of dozens of cheering fans. "China. My deal with the Jews and Arabs. My beautiful, beautiful wall. But it's not me they're after. The liberal media is after you. The hardworking Americans. Sad," he lamented, kicking … Continue reading Trump Knocks Disabled Guy Out Of Wheelchair Just To Get Crowd Pumped
“We’ve changed the rules so that as long as the person is conservative, which we already know they will be, they don’t need a hearing, or even a known identity,” said majority leader Mitch McConnell. If the President does not name the already-confirmed nominee this weekend, he/she will be appointed to the court using a cardboard cutout.
WASHINGTON "I don't know what else I can do to show you who I am," the Senate Majority leader explained to Democrats. "I have no higher standards, no qualms, no principles whatsoever. I'm not a wolf in sheep's clothing. I'm a snake with obvious glandular issues. I was once so deep into hypocrisy that the … Continue reading McConnell: It’d Be Pretty Hypocritical Of Me To Not Be A Hypocrite At This Point