"The café must know that classy middle-aged mothers will go apeshit for a granola with TWO superfoods in the title. And they know that every single one of them is going to butcher the pronunciation. This has got to be some kind of sick joke."
Multiple media entities in the state of Florida issued a joint statement today reminding citizens which state they were in, after nearly two whole days without an embarrassing news story.
"He shared a meme depicting Michelle Obama as a gorilla. What the fuck Grandpa, she hasn't been First Lady for like two years."
She is now forever enshrined in our hearts, and in this block of ice.