“Adding unicycle lanes to freeways will reduce vehicle traffic and incentivize citizens to do their part for the environment, one wheel at a time.”
Warren Takes DNA Test Again, Results Show She Is 100% Never Going To Be President
“The test's accuracy has an error margin of 0.03%, which is all the confidence I need to continue my presidential run,” Warren stated.
Republican Leaders Debate How Many Minutes They Have To Wait To Acquit President
"We must be mindful to tread ever-so-carefully over the Constitution."
Semi-Annual Mansplaining Conference Later This Month (‘Semi-Annual’ Means Twice A Year)
Sessions include: "Whoa, Calm Down, You Obviously Misunderstood Me" and "Actually, That's Not Exactly What That Means"
Subaru Replaces Controversial ‘F.U.C.K.S.’ Model Name
Subaru CEO Tomomi Nakamura breathed a sigh of relief, “We can finally put all of this behind us.”
Big Pharma Recalls Defective Candidate
We figured we'd save the $400,000 in maintenance fees and just let the patent expire.
Couple Wedded 70 Years Credit Long Marriage To Being Stranded On Deserted Island
“I can’t imagine being married to another woman,” says Herbert. “Mostly because I can’t imagine another woman.”
Prince Harry Picks Up A Few Uber Shifts To Get Family Through To Next Royalty Check
"Things are kind of tight right now, so this will be enough to tide us over a bit. Plus, sometimes I bring Archie along for the ride, and it puts him right to sleep. We'll be okay. Oi — give me a top rating, will ya? Cheers, mates," Prince Harry told the horde of paparazzi … Continue reading Prince Harry Picks Up A Few Uber Shifts To Get Family Through To Next Royalty Check
Millennial Couple To Vacate Family’s Estate
"We do plan to retain our titles and income, but the job itself has become unbearable."
This College Grad’s Student Loan Debt Is $69,000, Haha Sick!
“Hey, check this out,” Hayes says, nudging his roommates Ryan and Jackson to look at his student loan balance. Ryan looks over, eyes bugged: “Sweet.”