Leto made news during the filming of the project after your dad said it was chilly outside, causing Leto to run outdoors with a spoon. The extra weight he was sporting caused the actor to lose his balance, inadvertently stepping on a crack and breaking his own back. We at Unsubscribed wish him a full recovery.
Counting Stairs: Should You Include Landings?
"After a controversial report out of Northeastern University’s Department of Bipedal Vertical Locomotion concluded that “large landings may be excluded from an enumeration of treads and risers,” a firestorm of dispute has engulfed the stair-counting academy."
President Pens List Of Grievances In Original New Children’s Book
"Congress has been very mean to me. The Press hates me. Nobody seems to care. I think I'll move to Australia."
I Don’t See Race, Color, Or Even My Own Dick
I wish more people were like me: race-blind, color-blind, and their-own-dick-blind. If everyone were like that, and if certain people whose race and color I am unable to see would stay the hell out of nice neighborhoods like mine, I assure you our whole society would be a lot better off.
Daughter’s Boyfriend Positioned At Edge Of Family Photo In Case He Needs To Be Cropped Out Later
"A little to the left. Bit further...bit further...yes! That's perfect. Now smile!"
God Publishes ‘Guide To Humans: Absolutely Everything Explained Except How They Calculate Airline Fares’
“I was wrapping up the manuscript when I realized I left out how humans calculate airfares. I plugged literally trillions of itineraries into travel sites looking for a pattern and I still can’t figure it out!”
United States Becoming Less Religious Because Hillary Had God Killed
This explains why thoughts and prayers aren't being answered after every school shooting, pandemic, or when a professional team loses a big game.
Lindsey Graham Terrified His Testicles Beginning To Descend
"I felt some seismic energy, and ran to the mirror—where low and behold, I could just make out the slightest curvature of a testis, I think it's the left one."
Millions Happy, And Know It, But Refuse To Clap Hands
Said one dissenter, "Although I am regularly content, and am cognizant of said emotion, I do not have the desire to demonstrate my glee with a public display of applause."