Parents Tell Kid How Hard They Had To Fuck To Give Him New Baby Sister

"With you, it was easy. A bottle of wine, a broken condom, and here you were nine months later. But this little girl, was a real struggle, I had to track my ovulation cycle like a Sioux Indian looking for clean water." Patting his son on the back, Dad added, "But I pressed on, plowing the shit out of your beautiful mother, heart racing, toes curling, the sorrow of knowing I wouldn't be able to masturbate to pass the time in between—"

Slipknot Cancels Summer Tour To Protect Those Who Don’t Wear Masks

To protect band members and fans alike, Slipknot has announced the cancellation of Knotfest 2020. "Even though we all knew this was coming, we had remained hopeful. We've been doing this for decades to protect ourselves, but not everyone was with us," said lead vocalist Corey Taylor. "Sometimes our band has to sing, and the … Continue reading Slipknot Cancels Summer Tour To Protect Those Who Don’t Wear Masks