Whole Foods' Pacific Northwest Regional Manager divulged, “We're contacting as many suppliers as we can to restock our lines of organic, biodynamic, and ayurvedic toilet paper, but in the meantime, have you thought about buying some tarragon? We have loads of that. I think it's meant for seafood or some shit.”
Booth 37 ain't nuthing ta fuck wit
Read it out loud, you soulless, bigoted right-wingers! It says COEXIST. That means we all have to share this planet, no matter how different we are, you racist, Trumplethinskin-loving pieces of shit!
That $38 million dollar estate you just inherited makes you the envy of all your friends and coworkers, but you're struggling to understand how a movie as wholly unnecessary as Grown Ups 2 is still $79 million more successful than you.
“To me,” says Angela, “each one of these symbolizes a milestone in our romance. Like, this one marks the day I learned Doug really needs me to work hard and earn money so he doesn’t have to live in a basement suite with five ex-felons.”
Dolby Theatre, Los Angeles, CA — By Andrew Froese, Photo Edit by Emily Sanchez
From her upcoming album 'I Just Wanna Be Your Scorpion'
“I just have a feeling there’s more to the wraith realm than all these fancy trappings,” says Daniel, as he fidgets with his newest, trendy toy, a high-tech chain that can be rattled at forty different frequencies.
We sat down with Green Day's singer, who, for some reason, sounds like some cockney bloke with a nasal drip.
“Adding unicycle lanes to freeways will reduce vehicle traffic and incentivize citizens to do their part for the environment, one wheel at a time.”