"People grow in different directions," Martha said. "Unfortunately for Jay, that direction was an arctic tundra inside our living room, and mine was not wanting to lose a limb to frostbite."
Friggin’ Bullcrap! This 6th Grader Has To Wear A Coat Because His Parents Love Him
It's not even cool colors like black and red.
Woman’s Life In Shambles After Trying ‘Like Crack’ Brownie Recipe
"I thought the description was supposed to be facetious," said Norris. "If I had known what my life would end up taping brownies to the inside of the toilet tank, I would have never made them."
Woman’s Hair Has Successfully Infiltrated Every Buttcrack In Household
"I'd be in the middle of a meeting at work when an intense tickling in my underwear would start to drive me mad. I'd excuse myself to the restroom and pull several feet of hair from the back of my boxer-briefs." Sheila's husband Gerald told us.
Mom’s Imaginary Pulmonary Embolisms Flaring Up Again
This comes on the heels of a lengthy battle with faux multiple sclerosis. Not to mention that her pretend lupus just went into remission.
Uh-Oh! Girlfriend Drew Her Eyebrows On Extra Angry Today
Was a special occasion missed? Did Chad fail to notice a new haircut? Was it the comment that he made about the waitress the night before?
Aunt Keeps Calling Everyone “Sweaty” On Facebook
It may appear that she was intending to call Bethany "Sweety", but the fact that this comment was left on one of her niece's gym selfies renders the comment ambiguous.
Barber Takes A Number Two All Over Man’s Head
"A lot of guys come in here to get a cut, not expecting to receive an amateur facial before they leave," Robert explains. "This takes me back to the first time I felt one of Burt's amazingly soft towels! After I plopped in the chair, he leaned me back and laid a hot steamy one right on my face."
Portland Police To Disperse Protesters Using Non-Lethal Puddle Of Mudd Nirvana Cover
“Blaring this tone is very hard to endure, but does not cause any real physical harm. Mostly, it makes you cringe and feel a hefty amount of secondhand embarrassment.”
Woman Can Swallow A Whole Dick, But Not Her Multivitamin
"I just don't get it... I can ram a fat hog right down my throat, but this hard tablet just won't cooperate," stated Jenkins. "It's really a mystery considering that it's so much smaller than any wiener I've attempted to sword swallow."