New life begins!
“Hop on top, I wanna ride. I do a kegel when it’s inside” was changed to “Hop a lot, I wanna fly. I chew a bagel and ride my bike.”
Feeling neglected by his dad, Donald Trump Jr., is now posing as his sister, Ivanka. "Father's always thought she was a totally smart babe, and I'm hoping he'll think I am now too," Donka told Fox News. "Within minutes of me debuting my new look, my father invited me to sit on his lap in … Continue reading Don Jr. Identifies As Ivanka In Hopes Of Winning Father’s Love
When the United States sends travellers to Europe, they're not sending their best. They're sending people that have a lot of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing disease. They're bringing MAGA hats. They're racists. And some, I assume, are good people."
"Not every guy has an anaconda, some of them have a delicate garden snake."
“We don’t want to prejudice the experience with anything round,” said NASA Administrator Jim Bridenstine. “That’s why it’s a one-way trip, not a round trip. The average person would miss nuances like that, but flat-earthers are much smarter than the average person. So much, much smarter.”
Who are these Ivy League assholes to tell us that our lives are worse off delving into countless shitposting pages of my favorite childhood shows until I realize I start work in 4 hours??
"It has become clear that by making exactly zero percent of women and young girls uncomfortable around me, that I simply cannot become the Democratic nominee, yet alone the President in this climate"
"Even fake-ass slut balls can get by with just one mask. Don't go posting on social media that a store only let you buy one, but that you needed a second because you know you're a lying, two-faced bitch,"
"You think I won’t break up more bands?" he shouted, his knitted sweater shaking with anger. "I broke up The Beatles while your parents were in diapers. NWA? That was me. I don't give a fuck. I'll break up the Stones too if I don't get the nomination."