There have been exactly zero casualties in the arachnid population, if you can believe it. In fact, the spiders appear to be aroused by all the carnage and devastation around them, and have begun mating at an accelerated pace.
Purrard said he felt like he was “living his emeow years all over again.”
Sources who were present said the merciless, overgrown Congresswoman stomped through the offices, hearing rooms, and hallways of the Capitol, randomly snatching helpless Representatives, Senators, and aides, then loudly crunching their limp frames between her sharp, massive teeth, in between spitting out huge tendrils of deadly flames and bellowing “SOCIALISM! TAXES!”