When the United States sends travellers to Europe, they're not sending their best. They're sending people that have a lot of problems, and they're bringing those problems with us. They're bringing disease. They're bringing MAGA hats. They're racists. And some, I assume, are good people."
Man Can’t Wear Mask Because Of His Tiny Penis
"Not every guy has an anaconda, some of them have a delicate garden snake."
To Win Over Flat Earthers, NASA Offering One-Way Trips To View Globe
“We don’t want to prejudice the experience with anything round,” said NASA Administrator Jim Bridenstine. “That’s why it’s a one-way trip, not a round trip. The average person would miss nuances like that, but flat-earthers are much smarter than the average person. So much, much smarter.”
Study Finds Less Time Spent On Social Media Increases… You Know What, Fuck This Study
Who are these Ivy League assholes to tell us that our lives are worse off delving into countless shitposting pages of my favorite childhood shows until I realize I start work in 4 hours??
Sanders Fails To Sexually Harass Enough Women To Win Race
"It has become clear that by making exactly zero percent of women and young girls uncomfortable around me, that I simply cannot become the Democratic nominee, yet alone the President in this climate"
Health Report: Two-Faced Bitches Still Only Need One Mask
"Even fake-ass slut balls can get by with just one mask. Don't go posting on social media that a store only let you buy one, but that you needed a second because you know you're a lying, two-faced bitch,"
78 Year-Old Jewish Man From Vermont Breaks Up Public Enemy
"You think I won’t break up more bands?" he shouted, his knitted sweater shaking with anger. "I broke up The Beatles while your parents were in diapers. NWA? That was me. I don't give a fuck. I'll break up the Stones too if I don't get the nomination."
Harvey Weinstein Wears Dog Cone To Prevent Self From Licking Balls In Court
New York — The judge ordered Mr. Weinstein to wear the cone after he had to be repeatedly told to stop licking and tugging his testicles during the proceedings. "I didn't know where to look. It was very distracting," a source from inside the courtroom stated. "This should really help us all to focus much … Continue reading Harvey Weinstein Wears Dog Cone To Prevent Self From Licking Balls In Court
This Cat Already Has Tickets To The My Chemical Romance Reunion Tour
Purrard said he felt like he was “living his emeow years all over again.”