We did trace your ancestry to some wildly beautiful places, rich in culture and history. We also found some truly remarkable people in your lineage. None of this seems to have translated into making you into much of anything.
"We are in love," Waltham told Huntsman's parents. "And he's not in my class this year, I only had him last year for 7th grade pre-Algebra. So this isn't even impacting his grade."
OK, I get that the scrotum slapping was a bit much, but no more sword fighting?
We know he knows this stuff, and they're just being unreasonable. I looked at his grades online, and he doesn't even have any. They're all just zeros. If they'd just find a way to reach him, maybe he would stop smoking in his bedroom all day, and turn up to class."
At press time, Jared from Toronto was sending her a series of dick pics knowing that once she sees his sweet piece, "She'll find the time."
Something new from Lindt.
"Some oils are stimulating, some are relaxing. There's one that smells like Christmas. I don't know how they do it, but all of a sudden I'm right there baking cookies with the baby Jesus."
We told Smith that this article highlighting his obsession with mothers would be shared with our readers. With unwavering eyes, he told us that our readers' moms were the best.
"The first step is the signs, but additionally, we're looking into technology that actually displays warnings directly to people's smartphones. This is especially efficient, because that's where drivers tend to be looking anyway."