U.S. Surpasses 500,000 Conspiracy Theories

The Center for Disease Control has announced that the United States will soon mark 500,000 conspiracy theories. "Only about half of these theories are directly related to COVID-19," said Dr. Anthony Fauci. "There are the familiar stories about Bill Gates implanting Microsoft products within the vaccine, and a (still alive) Jeff Epstein using COVID-19 wards … Continue reading U.S. Surpasses 500,000 Conspiracy Theories

Twitter CEO: We Just Now Realized He Violated Our Terms Of Service

Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey announced a permanent suspension of Donald Trump's Twitter account, after discovering a few of his posts may have violated their terms of service. "We received some complaints over the past decade about inappropriate content on @realDonaldTrump, but obviously we cannot police every user on Twitter," said Dorsey. "We received a handful … Continue reading Twitter CEO: We Just Now Realized He Violated Our Terms Of Service

Family Pretty Sure Mom Has Already Seen This Hallmark Movie

As various family members passed from the living room to the kitchen for a snack, they unsuccessfully tried to persuade Mom that she had already seen the Hallmark movie she was watching. "Hey, isn't this the one where the handsome developer comes to town to take over Danica McKellar's bakery," asked Amy? "I don't know," … Continue reading Family Pretty Sure Mom Has Already Seen This Hallmark Movie

Biden Seeks Pregnant Woman To Head Department Of Labor

Washington D.C. After receiving accolades for his choice of Deb Haaland for the Department of Interior, President-Elect Biden has organized a search-committee to find a well qualified pregnant woman to head the Department of Labor. "It's a travesty that, in the 107 year history of this Agency, no pregnant woman has ever managed the DOL," … Continue reading Biden Seeks Pregnant Woman To Head Department Of Labor