By Holly Love, Image Edit By Emily Sanchez
Is the person you’re embalming definitely dead?
“It just goes to show you. Someone you pass on the street could be your lawyer’s podiatrist’s veterinarian’s mechanic."
“How unseemly for a President to break this rule of decent decorum,” wrote one of many critics. “Look at a calendar and respect protocol! Now we have half the country following in his gauche footsteps.”
King flirted with our 25-year-old interviewer and already has a date with her. “No doubt I’ll outlive my eighth, ninth, and tenth wives!” And number eleven? Informed sources confirm she’s just been born, and in eighteen years, will marry the 103-year-old King.
"Those were, undoubtedly, the good old seconds.”
“Our hands-off approach is what allows these terrific artists to get their hands on the tools they need to put on a great performance. The numbers this weekend speak for themselves.”
“It’s been four hours since I called 911!”