"If I had known hooking up with a gay guy would be this good, I would have married one on purpose."
The doctor was of no help, unfortunately. “I had to maul and eat the guy,” said the bear. “It's sad, too, because I used to get through a person in one sitting. Now I get through maybe half of one before I get super bloated.”
“As of midnight on the eve of St. Patrick's Day, we’ve painted the lights in all four-point intersections green to look like shamrocks and bring the luck of the Irish!”
“Even at my young age, I am all about forging my own opinions and taking my own path. I’m not some gullible, easily-misled non-thinker. I’ve already vowed not to let myself be shorn, not to adopt 'Baaaaah' as the sound I make, and not to pose for cute baby animal pictures just because I saw my brother do it.”
"People will do anything not to have to pack, and we are finding that a grab bag of random items is good enough.”
“I mean, it’s not like I don’t actually know the alphabet,” said Donovan with a dismissive, awkward chuckle. “I think there are certain pairs of letters – some – that everyone has to stop and think about for a second before being able to tell which comes first. I even know people who have to sing the whole alphabet song just to figure out if W comes before or after Y.”
"It went on forever and was excruciating," said Edwards. "I felt I needed drugs to stop the pain."