Wilmington, DE - Announcing his candidacy for president last week, former Vice President Joe Biden said he had “a good feel” for what America needs and vowed to be a “hands-on” leader who would “grope for solutions to America’s problems.” Mr. Biden said that, if elected, he would “reach beneath the surface, get a firm … Continue reading Biden Promises, “I Will Grope For Answers To America’s Problems”
“This is what happens,” said Chief of Police Michael Kelly, “when mere pedestrians fail to understand the rules of elite privilege and refuse to jump out of the way of their oncoming betters."
“I mean, really, this again?” said one member of the herd, after fleeing to a safe remove in order to observe the goings-on at a distance.
Sources close to the tiny RNA chain of nucleotides report that, in private, it is actually quite sociable and emotive.
“There is a wall separating people from their prescriptions. And that wall is the outside of your local drugstore pharmacy."
Sometimes I ask my lovely wife, Madeleine Pâté Au Gratin, could this be the family curse? Because it is true, several generations of our kin, all the way back to my great-grandfather Quenelle Pamplemousse Escargots, have labored in the French food trenches, and who can say why?
After the service, the couple plan to have Matt’s cremated remains carefully mixed into a pot of William’s favorite chili recipe, together with several pounds of burning hot Carolina Reaper peppers, so Matt can savage William’s luscious little butthole one last time.