When asked to comment on his newfound popularity, Liam casually shrugged it off saying the girls probably just want him for his tooth fairy money.
Choosing The Right Dog For Your Family
If you care about your family, you will stay far away from dogs like this. The smug look on this savage's face screams "I will use my superior sense of style to steal your wife. Your kids call me daddy now."
Company Requires Two Weeks Notice Before Dying
Notice must be submitted in writing and include reason for expiration, as well as the intended date of demise.
American Excited For Opportunity To Hone Broken English On Trip Abroad
Shanna leans in toward a customs agent. "El baggage claim?" she asks loudly, slowly enunciating each syllable.
New Parents Wistfully Reminisce About Days White Stains On Sheets Weren’t Spit-Up
"Isn't he the most adorable thing you've ever seen?" Amber asked as she gazed lovingly at the burrito-wrapped crotch Nazi.
Primate Stolen from Zoo: Police Release Sketch of Suspected Simian Snatcher
Sources close to the zoo admitted that, for the past ten years, Kali has frequently been spotted using her limited ability with sign language to signal, “Get me the fuck out of here.”
Inept Coworker Brings In Dozen Old- Fashioned Donuts
"I mean, one or two old-fashioneds, sure, but an entire fucking box? What kind of idiot can't comprehend maintaining a proper plain-to-frosted ratio is imperative?"
Mom Treats Self To $400 Lego Carrier
"This thing has so much room inside I could easily fit an entire Lego City Police Mobile Command Center and still have room for a few Duplos for the baby."
Woman Gauges Level Of Attractiveness By How Long It Takes To Be Offered Help At Home Depot
“In my twenties I couldn't make it past the first aisle, but the last few times I've gotten down to aisle five before anyone stopped me."