"I've been learning how to contour from Kylie Jenner, and I think I'm okay at it. But the winged eyeliner is really killing me. One eye always comes out better than the other. And don't get me started on her brows."
In what sources are calling "a huge victory, folks, lemme tell ya, this is the biggest victory you've ever seen," President Trump has been awarded a $1.4 billion participation trophy for his part in the recent record-breaking, partial government shutdown.
“I mean, why should I have to ride my Divvy through a sad community of displaced Puerto Ricans on my way to Uncle Dan’s Outfitters? I don’t need that kind of negativity weighing on my conscience."
After her husband died in a tragic fire accident while lighting a cross on his neighbor's lawn, Maureen continued living in the house until her death there in 1976.
When asked to explain the importance of duck bills, Bryant just said “quack quack” as two chips crumbled between his lips.
Dave Fellowes believes he's found the cure for "literally everything, bruh. Cancer, the flu, man... It's like, whoa, everything."