Try saying hi to your cashier three places early in the line. Suddenly, the facade drops. Instead of smiling and asking about your day, your act of friendliness is met with a confused glare. But that's not all. Try doing what I did: Wait for her to finish her shift, stay 50-100 feet away from her at all times, follow her to her car, and then try saying hi. Suddenly, Ms. "Did You Find Everything Okay?" is gone, revealing the neurotic, indignant hag she really is.
GoFundMe confirmed they had removed the donor from their platform.
"Often my emotions respond more to making a shitload of money than to sympathy."
If you are reading this and are homeless, please reconsider your lifestyle and buy my property in Baltimore. I've asked you every which way I can think of. We've made it illegal to feed you, we've fought against shelters and taxes that help you, we've put those bumpy things on benches so you can't sleep on them, but somehow, the housing crisis remains unsolved. I've offered help—countless times—in the form of affordable budgetary and financing advice, and you just act like it's not enough.
Researchers described the level of weirdness as "pretty weird, I guess. I mean, not really, but if you look at it for long enough or say it over and over, then a little bit."
When you face the facts, it really all boils down to this: I don't live in America. I have never been to America. My president is Ram Nath Kovind. I blame Trump entirely for this, and consider this his biggest failure.
"I get emotional just thinking about it. One minute, they're so tiny. The next minute, they're nearing triple digits."
"This is the Ariel we need. There is no whiter person on this earth than Michael Cera. He looks like a man who is allergic to food seasoning. He probably turns the bass in his sound system all the way down."
If you want to get noticed this summer, you have to go the extra mile. Do you really think you're going to find Ms. Right based off your personality alone? Give me a break. There are millions of men out there with better balls than you, and if you're complacent, you're going to wind up at the bottom of the testicle hierarchy.
"I was using my alt account to send my usual dick pics to random hotties on Instagram - you know, the ones that show some skin and essentially are asking for aggressive sexual reciprocity from appreciative guys like me - but with the photo glitch, all I could send was disappointing attachments that no one woman wants to look at."