“I can't stand these new artists,” Berner griped, “XXXTentacion, Image Dragons, Ariana Venti... they all sound the same!”
“While it may seem extreme and highly controversial, we see that offing yourself is the fastest way to do away with your debts.”
8-year-old Matt Grimes has reportedly claimed that his controller is broken, leading him to only have 2 kills and 28 deaths in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, and couldn't face the truth that he really just sucks ass at video games.
In response, Eminem said “That fucking pussy always has no comment.”
Unsubscribed. Goodbye forever.
"While this type of behavior is not ideal in the NFL, it is at least a step up from having to deal with our players beating women and then having to deal with law enforcement and courts and figuring out an appropriate amount of games to suspend a player. I hope that if more players are in need of assaulting someone, they do it to another player on the field and not to a woman off the field."
Burks, a sadistic little bastard since age two, derives pleasure from inhumanely destroying insects and can't wait to be a dog owner.
Given that California residents didn't follow the President's simple advice to rake the forests to help prevent fires, it's possible he may refuse to provide them with any help.
"It's really kind of embarrassing," remarked Rodger Stevenson, manager of one of the local Austin clubs that booked the band. "You have an amazing guitarist playing tough riffs, chord progressions, and solos. There's also the singer, who has amazing control and range, and a drummer who keeps a steady tempo. Yet, this jackass bass player — who's adding absolutely zero to the equation — is trying to steal all of the thunder!"