Washington, D.C. —
Democratic frontrunner Joe Biden now leads Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, and all other Democratic candidates by 50 points, according to a new poll made exclusively on rotary phones.
Pollsters say this is one of the most in-depth insights ever made on the average Democratic voter. “This is a sign that Joe has his finger on the pulse of true Democrats,” said one strategist. “Over 100,000 participants were rotary dialed, and 80% of them came out in favor of him. Can you explain that? I can’t.”
The results are largely in line with C-SPAN’s comprehensive carrier pigeon survey, but Biden also appears to be attracting younger voters — using modern polling methods, 75,000 Democrats also sent in their support for Biden via fax machine, and another 50,000 via AOL email. The Democratic Party has become energized by these new findings, noting that they haven’t seen numbers this good since Clinton in 2016.