Silicon Valley, CA —

A new app rolled out on both the Google Play Store and Apple Store called DataCollector, which cuts out all the bullshit of pretending to provide any service and instead just works to request information from the user and send it to any unknown entities that want it. The creator, William Fell, described the app as a “great step forward” that “will help marketing teams better understand what to advertise to specific people.” While many have complained about the lack of features on the app, Fell responded that new updates would also allow individuals to buy the info of the user and spam the ever-living crap out of their email or invite them to like their shitty homemade products. Most shockingly of all, smartphone users have eagerly embraced the opportunity to send their data direct to marketing teams, with the app receiving over 200,000 downloads in the first week, despite literally having the name “DataCollector.”

By Zach Englund