"I’ve won so many races in my lifetime and was ready for a new adventure, so I threw my hooves into gay conversion therapy."
By Catricia, Image Edit By Emily Sanchez
Forget the lyrics about death and gloom, and grab a dick, feel the music flow through you, and get to sucking, honey. The anger in this song is inspiration for some optimal hardcore dick sucking.
“My girl could go an entire month without showering and I’d still eat her ass over a slice of Hawaiian pizza any day of the week.”
The sounds of groans and despair from her friends in reaction to Alicia’s Facebook announcement of her new egg-only diet could be heard in unison from around the world. So far she has lost six friends and counting.
“Looking back, I probably could’ve phrased things differently, but god dammit if the bitch wasn’t acting crazy.” John informed the police officer from his hospital bed, the painkillers finally kicking in.
“I’m tired of hearing all of these stories about women getting roofied, Sara. I’m feeling left out. Am I not good enough to be roofied? I know I’m getting older. Hell, I’ll be 26 soon.”
“Oh honey, not that one. That’s my good Tupperware,” her mom states while quickly snatching the Tupperware out of Sharon’s hands like the container was her precious newborn baby that Sharon was planning on kidnapping and holding for ransom.