The robots are here.
Millennial Couple To Vacate Family’s Estate
"We do plan to retain our titles and income, but the job itself has become unbearable."
Your Great Aunt Finally Installed That Free AOL CD, Has Questions For You
By Zachary James Wood
Time Traveler From Future Thinks 2019 Is Great, Actually
"Why is everyone in such a sour mood; don't you get how good you have it? You still have more than a dozen corporations. The opposition party hasn't been dissolved by the Supreme Court yet, and crypto mining and game streaming haven't strained servers to the point that the entire internet fails!"
WWJD? So, I Just Went Into My Wells Fargo And Started Whipping People
By Zachary James Wood
California Gives Up, Removes All Stop Signs
Establishing a legal framework for the driving maneuver known as “the California roll,” city officials hope to ease traffic congestion, provided that too many out-of-state drivers don't fuck it up for the rest of us.
Nothing Newsworthy Happening Tonight
In what historians are calling the most even-keel day in history, absolutely nothing newsworthy is set to happen in the next few hours.
