Toronto, ON —

New Yelper Cam Munro just arrived home from a whirlwind trip through Europe. After furiously writing reviews for all the momentous landmarks he visited, Munro is stuck on how many stars he should give Auschwitz, the infamous Nazi concentration camp in Poland.

“Oh God, I have to rate my visit to the biggest atrocity of the 20th century?” Munro mutters to himself nervously, “That memorial was one of the most eye-opening, profoundly heart-wrenching experiences I have ever had, but it’s the burial ground for a million-plus innocent lives. How many stars is that worth?? Fuck me.”

Social anxiety droplets perspire on Munro’s brow and neck as he further mediates his thoughts. “The clock tower in Prague was an easy five stars. The Ripley’s in Amsterdam was for sure one star, totally gimmicky and completely out of place. Giving Notre Dame four stars because the spire burned down was reasonable. If it were possible, I’d give six stars for the Auschwitz tour guide. The wait time to get in was definitely three stars — super boring — but the camp itself deserves ZERO stars. You know, because of the whole genocide thing. How the shit am I supposed to encapsulate all these emotions and experiences into such an ambiguous, reductive rating system?”

At press time, Munro had settled on five stars and was starting his review with “Now, I’m not promoting genocide, but…”

By Andrew Froese