New York, NY —
Recent studies have noticed a slow decline of religious belief in the United States, specifically with Christianity. The nation was 85% Christian back in the yesteryear of 1990, but that number has slumped to 70% in a recent study, and the question many are asking is, “Why is the United States becoming less religious?” The answer is quite simple: It is clear that Hillary Clinton had God killed for whatever reason. Sure, you may say that God “committed suicide,” but it is clear that God has gone missing and, considering He is omniscient, He probably had information about Hillary or even the whole Clinton family. This explains why thoughts and prayers aren’t being answered after every school shooting, pandemic, or when a professional team loses a big game. It is also important to ask, what did God know? Did he perhaps have copies of the deleted emails? Or was a connection between Bill Clinton and Jeffrey Epstein enough to make Hillary slyly remove God from the picture? We’ve seen it before! Whatever the case may be, one thing is clear: Hillary has rubbed out the Almighty.
By Zach Englund
First Vincent Foster, then Seth Rich. And now the Omnipotent! Who’s next?!