“Teddy Roosevelt was a hunter, a leader in the Spanish American War, a cowboy, a President, and an imperialist racist bastard,” a spokesperson for the museum told protesters next to the old statue. “Here he was, sitting above everyone, up on his literal high horse. Thankfully, SeaWorld Orlando has loaned us this beautiful 10-year-old Orca to replace this ‘Progressive President,’ and we could not be happier that we are officially able to right this terrible wrong.”

By Emily Sanchez

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